My neighbors are all women. And they are all feminists. Or at least they call themselves so. Whichever the case, their conversations swirl around the men in their lives(or lack thereof), the poor taste in boyfriends a particular non-feminist friend of theirs has, and generally the bold choices they’ve made(concerning men), and the amazing life they envision for themselves, a life totally men-free.

For a long time, I have fancied labelling myself a feminist, but I did not know that to be a feminist is to declare war upon men. I did not know it is a battle of the genders. All this while, I thought feminism is about creating an environment where both men and women can co-exist peacefully and happily, each party regarding the other with respect. And for a long time I have believed that encouraging girl-child education, allowing women to have careers, run for public offices and have an opinion have all been to create such an environment.

I never knew it is spending all your time talking about men, plotting things you can do to bring the men in your lives down, inventing new ways to disrespect them, and Laughing Out Loud every time they trip and fall.

I have witnessed instances where women shout at matatu touts, waiters, bartenders for no worthy reason, and in between their harangue, they will mention that they are a woman and therefore should be treated with respect. I get confused. I don’t think respect should be a gift of gender, that if you are a woman then you are entitled to it, but should be something awarded to all of us, men and women, who’ve earned it.

My brother often cooks, cleans and does the laundry in my mother’s house. He also changes the light bulbs, and fixes the radio and connects the TV to whatever devices necessary. If I am around, I will cook as he cleans, or vice versa. He will still connect for me the TV to the laptop or whatever it is I want. I will not tell him, ‘Mike, could you connect this for me?’ and he tells me, ‘But I’m a man and I cooked, you should be able to do that!’ Because my brother doesn’t think it is a competition. He doesn’t believe men and women are at war. He probably doesn’t even know who a feminist is. If I want him to teach me matters electronics, he will! If he wants me to teach him how to roll chapatis, I will! On other days, I will gladly spend the whole day in the kitchen and let the boys play PlayStation. We are not at war. We are not baying for each other’s blood.

You know, maybe I am wrong. Maybe feminism is men and women hanging on each other’s neck, each trying to prove who can do it better. Maybe I didn’t read the constitution right.

But I’d rather be wrong than be the kind of right I see out here.

“You don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman”- Jane Galvin.

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Hi! My name is Lovine Christine Mboya. If you ask me to tell you about me, I would rather write about it, because I am still trying to find myself, and might need to edit and maybe change the whole script. I was born 23 years ago. I love life. I wish I was immortal. And then also have the power to heal people. Not just from physical pain, but mental, emotional. I am a daughter. A sister. A friend. A fierce lover. A girl on a mission. Easy. I laugh a lot. But that's because I find most things funny. Welcome to my blog!


  1. I concur… it shouldn’t be some frantic race or a platform for proving which gender is better than the other instead it should be geared towards peaceful co-existence where man and woman are treated alike. and yeah, these ‘feminists’ fighting and demanding for respect better start thinking of how to earn it.

    nice piece! go girl!


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