By Peace Loise


When I was nine years old I used to look at grown up girls bums….and I don’t mean stealing a glance like, look ,see and look away.No, I mean I used to stare in awe , admiration and envy…Yeah I was a naughty one haha..Kidding….Anyway I used to wish I would grow up so that my t-shirts would be blocked from just dropping down to my thighs and just remaining on my waist area due to my bum.I did not think it was strange until now.Hallelujah that dream came true.Sorry, back to the point, what was the point? Ooh yeah I was telling a story..

Looking back at that moment I realise something. Although I had not been influenced by anyone I had an already shaped perception of beauty. Funny coz the Kardashians had no one keeping up with them at that time.

Fast forward  ten years later and that little girl, now a young woman was now fully aware of herself.Her features.Her small breasts. Her differences.Her dark skin. Yes her dark skin.She didn’t know she was different but they made sure she knew.They begun calling her black beauty. She was flattered since she never considered herself beautiful.Don’t get me wrong she did not hate herself she just didn’t identify herself with her appearance. But they referred to her as black beauty, not a compliment but a comfort phrase she should use when she feels insecure of her colour. She wasn’t just beautiful. Not like her fellow friends who had light complexions. It was obvious they were beautiful. But for her. She was black first. And although they placed the word beautiful after, she knew it was to compensate for the first word which they made clear wasn’t a good thing.

Many still say that phrase to her at the age of 25.Some mean it like a compliment, but for her it doesn’t work like that.She knows better. The stereotypes and distinction lives on.So she doesn’t smile and say thank you. She blushes it off. Like a random hi from a stranger on the street. In the era of Viola Davis and Lupita Nyong’o, women who look so much like her, making history in the world she is more confident. But there are days when all she wants is to be that young girl again. So innocent and seeing women as powerfully exotic.

When she wakes up she looks herself in the mirror. She loves mirrors. Not because she sees a perfect person staring back at her, but because she loves that imperfect person. She recalls when they told her of her lips. Her lips were bigger than normal. Just like her complexion, she wasn’t aware. In high school a classmate made a joke when she borrowed her lip balm. She said her lips would use all of it. That really hurt her. She cried that night. She wanted to get rid of it. So she put lip reduction on her to-do list when she got enough money. She got confused when  Men said her lips were nice. Kissable actually. Another consolation.She thought.

Talking of men. Interesting creatures God made. Created first and given the power to rule the world. Strong as Adam was. He couldn’t do it. He needed a helper. A helper who in this modern society has been reduced to merely what she looks like. She is compared to other helpers and made to feel less worthy. If she wears a short skirt in the streets she is a whore.They (the interesting creatures)want to strip her. Humiliate her. She is showing off too much. If she does the same on TV shows, in music videos or on playboy cover magazine(actually they don’t wear a thing. Don’t ask how I know) she is a source of sexual gratification. There call her sexy.

When she is light skin, they say she is incredibly beautiful.Some say she is kinda dumb.They want to date her not marry her.She is not wife material since many have eyes on her. If she is dark she is not attractive but an incredible wife material. They want to marry her. Twisted right?

Kindly note I’m absolutely not a hater of the interesting creatures. On the contrary, I looove them. So how can I hate the source of my very existence? Right.Honestly, though  I seriously loathe some. Some who are overly shallow. Jerks. Psychopaths.Chauvinists and unaware of how great they can be.

Beauty I agree might be in the eyes of the beholder. So quick advice to all beholders out there.Please love the beauty that appeals to you and respect the one that appeals to your fellow beholder.
Seriously this is not a motivation piece but a reality check. The pressure is real.

To girls out there. I know how it feels. The insecurities are sometimes awakened just when we think we have managed to accept ourselves as we are. But don’t depend on Makeup, hair, clothes, and shoes to make you more beautiful. Forget lipo, Botox, implants, bleaches…..and chicken feeds…
God made you beautiful. There will always be a prettier, slimmer, lighter, finer woman as far as the world is concerned.
But do know how a beautiful person looks like? Hold your head up high, get your chin up, smile, and laugh because…
A beautiful person looks like …YOU!!!

**Read more Peace HERE! 🙂

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Hi! My name is Lovine Christine Mboya. If you ask me to tell you about me, I would rather write about it, because I am still trying to find myself, and might need to edit and maybe change the whole script. I was born 23 years ago. I love life. I wish I was immortal. And then also have the power to heal people. Not just from physical pain, but mental, emotional. I am a daughter. A sister. A friend. A fierce lover. A girl on a mission. Easy. I laugh a lot. But that's because I find most things funny. Welcome to my blog!


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